Unless the child’s mom is completely out of the picture, you are not and never will be the child’s mom. You get to help with all of the fun stuff, experience all of the not-so-fun stuff, and everything in between. Snuggle up, give bedtime kisses, and share advice as only a parent can do.īut try not to fall into hoping to become be a replacement. It’s perfectly okay to fall into a maternal role when your stepchildren are in your home. It’s in our DNA women are comforters and fixers by nature. It’s easy for a stepmother to nurture her children. The Stepmother RoleĪ stepmother’s role is to supplement, never to replace. My relationship with my stepdaughter and the special role I get to play as her Mama K is beyond anything I could experience trying to be her second mom. And having her call me “Mom” would be just as validating.īut eventually I grew in my role, and I began to realize I don’t need that validation. Would they question my worth? Would they think she was being disrespectful? I loved when strangers would mistake me for my stepdaughter’s mom in public. I used to worry about what others would think if they heard her call me by name. My stepdaughter calls me “Mama K,” and it is exponentially more special to me than if she called me “Mom.” I know I’m not her mom, and I would feel like a fraud if that’s what she chose to call me. That’s why we decided on a special name just between us.
Out of respect for her mom, I’d never allow such an extraordinary breach of Amanda’s trust in me with her daughter. But it’s still completely out of the question.
She and I are as close as stepmom and daughter can possibly be. My stepdaughter wants to call me “Mom.” I must be doing something right, right? I told her I loved her and couldn’t wait to officially be her stepmom-before we knew it, we’d officially be a family! She pulled back from our embrace, looked up to me with those big beautiful blue eyes and heartwarming grin and said, “After the wedding, can I call you ‘Mom?'” Be still, my heart. She hugged me extra tight, told me how excited she was, and assured me she would miss me until I saw her again. I was saying my goodbyes to my sweet almost-stepdaughter as she prepared to catch her flight to the wedding destination, where we’d be reunited in just a couple of days.
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